It's so important not to settle with anything in life, especially the things you can control. The number one thing I think you should never settle for in life is love. I know it can get hard at times when everyone around you is in love and it seems like every person you tried to have romance with fails but that is apart of life and growing and learning. I know you probably don't want to hear that, trust me I didn't either. I thought it was me I blamed every failed attempt at a relationship on myself. I started calling myself "Joan" from girlfriends. If you watched that show you know Joan romantic relationships always failed. Sometimes I would say they were due to her own faults and sometimes I would say it was the guy as well. So that's why I started to look at myself that way because at times I know what my faults were in the situation. I know that I over think every single thing that I have to be reassured. I thought that because of that I would scare certain guys away because maybe Im doing too much and I have to change. So I started to hold certain feelings and thoughts back. I thought that because I had certain rules like not chilling together until after a date first or not talking on the phone or face time, until I feel comfortable with you. I know its other girls who aren't like that and would probably be easier to deal with, so why would a guy want to put up with these things from me? With thoughts like these I ended up in a situation that I should have never been in just so I could have someone and at first it was cool but then it started to become draining because I was lying to myself. This was not what I wanted. I knew better but I was scared of being alone. And you know the saying " If you wanna make God laugh tell him your plans." Its true because he knows what he has planned for every single one of us and this was not in my plans. So he let it me break me because he wanted to me leave this situation alone and focus on myself, something more than just love and relationships. I started focusing on myself more. I fell in love over again with my writing, I put more time and attention to my nieces and nephews because I know they are getting older and how important this time is. I started focusing on the now and what I can control....and you know what I was happy with myself and I was learning more about myself. I knew exactly what I wanted and I decided that I would rather be single then to share myself and my life with someone who didn't deserve me or who didn't care about me enough to understand and respect me, and then I looked up and there he was. I met someone who I wasn't looking for at the time and he hasn't asked me to change anything about myself and who has tried to reassure me and understand me every step of the way. All of things that I thought were my flaws I was wrong about because here he is not making one complaint, he understands me. And when you find someone who see's you how you see yourself and feels like you are worth it to try and learn you. Thats the person you choose to be with. Don't settle fight for that person and wait for that feeling. Focus on everything in your life now that you can control try to find a way to deal with the lonely moments besides calling up that person that you know deep down inside isn't good for you and is not the person you deserve. Grow and figure out exactly what you want and once you do, when the right person comes along you will be ready. In the end of the tv show Girlfriend's Joan found her prince and got everything she wanted and she didn't have to change anything about herself.
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